Daunting Dread Come Thursday

I mentioned in my Introducing Me post that I’m hearing impaired. I wear hearing aids, I’ve had them since six years of age. My condition is called Bilateral Hearing Loss…..I think…..anyway it’s genetic as well as progressive so it’s just gonna keep getting worse…..(yay)  It’s a stubborn as hell recessive gene that doesn’t want to leave my family (sorry future kids, it sucks).

Unfortunately, my hearing seems to be going downhill a lot faster than my father’s has and faster than my younger brother’s currently is. And we don’t know why. So Thursday, I am seeing a specialist and we’ll hopefully figure out what the hell is wrong with me, on top of the shit that’s already there. The scary part is not knowing and the fact that my audiologist said I may be a candidate for the choclear implant. When she said that, I wanted to cry. Not only out of fear (who the fuck wants to get a hole drilled in their skull???) but out of frustration as well. Not knowing what else is wrong with you. The waiting. I hate this condition, it’s caused me so much pain physically and emotionally. But it’s a part of who I am.

My boyfriend is nothing but supportive of all this. In fact, my family, my boyfriend, and I are starting sign language classes in a couple weeks. That should be fun.

So until Thursday, I will be a giant ball of frustration and anxiety.


so yeah





Unwelcome Visitors, Both Alive and Dead….


Let me just start off by saying….I live in an in-law apartment above my boyfriend’s parents garage. And we are perfectly happy here (for the time being). But we do get a lot of unwelcome visitors….. The dead kind.

When I first moved in, I discovered very quickly that paranormal activity was not just a movie. Of course I always knew that, I mean I always felt that extra something and would see shapes in the dark but this was some next level shit. I was actually fearful and lost many nights sleep over certain events. If there is one thing you should know about me, it is that I love my sleep.

Well let’s just say, we were never alone and we still aren’t…..kind of….. there are spirit children in the main house. One of his grandmothers is in our living room and one of his grandfathers is in the bedroom….AWKWARD……but honestly they mind their own business and do their own thing, so it’s all good.

Before we kicked all our other “friends” out, I was being attacked and physically hurt on a weekly basis. We had an entity in the closet who’s still there but is locked in, we had a harmful dickhead in the bathroom who made it very awkward and scary to shower or even just take a piss. At one point we had a raccoon in the bathroom too (a ghost one). There are countless stories I have to share.

If you don’t believe in this stuff, that’s totally fine, I’m just telling you my experience with it. But I’m not gonna go into detail with these stories now. Those are for another day.


On to the LIVING, unwanted visitors. Like I said, we live in an addition on his parents house. It’s separate…..but not really. There’s a door as a passage on the shared wall. I get why, him and his 2 sisters have all lived in here at some point and it’s necessary to have access to the main house.

Well, his oldest sister still lives in the house with her daughter (she’s three). She lived in the apartment before us, she was kicked back into the house by their father because she’s a very messy person. the apartment had become……hoarder-esque?…..if that makes sense.

My boyfriend and I have made this a home and a livable space for us and our puppy. However, she still comes and goes as she pleases, using our stuff as if it were her own when we go see my family on the weekends. I come back to a huge mess of trash and movies everywhere and her and her best friend’s (her “sister”) food in our fridge. and her and her daughter’s shower stuff IN OUR SHOWER.

When I get home, all I want to do is shower and relax. I can’t do that when I have to clean everything.

Then I find food missing some mornings. She’s taking our food. NOT COOL.

Now the door knob has been changed and you need a key to get in from their side and only one person has that key.




rant over


This Is Me…I’m Not Normal

Hi…..I’m just gonna say a bit about me in bullet points because I’m a lazy shit.

  • I’m a lazy shit
  • I’m Hearing Impaired. I wear hearing aids
  • I don’t know Sign Language but I should (I’m working on it)
  • I live with my boyfriend and our dog
  • I don’t drive….yet (again…working on it…..kinda)
  • I’m a Teacher’s Assistant in a Montessori School
  • I’m kinda sorta a wiccan but not really

There’s probably more but I’m just gonna stop here. you’ll read more about it later….hopefully……I promise I’m funny and I have crazy stories. I think you’ll be entertained by the shit show that is me and my life.


cool beans